Overreact and Underestimate

Ok,  so. It’s been known to happen before. And will probably happen again. But yes, I may have slightly overreacted.

My last blog post, although I didn’t really realise it at the time, had a pretty sombre tone. Especially for someone who was moving to SPAIN (seriously, what is my life?). I was expecting some pretty tough times my first week or two. Emotionally that is. I was expecting this year to all come bearing down on me and I was also dreading this inevitable feeling of loneliness that comes with a break-up and starting from scratch in a foreign country.

Turns out, I may have underestimated myself. The kind of ‘alone’ I have been feeling since moving to Madrid is actually the best kind of alone I’ve ever felt. I am SO HAPPY. Capitals are not enough. Being here right now and ALONE just feels so right.

Don’t get me wrong. I am an extremely social person and I thrive on interaction with others. Experiencing things with other people is my greatest joy in life. But the alone that I am when I walk to my bus stop to go to university each morning.. when I’m taking my morning walk past Palacio Real.. when I’m walking up to Gran Via to go do some shopping.. when I’m studying in my room.. when I’m sunbaking on my terrace… these are the best kinds of alone I’ve ever felt. I am truly alone here in the purest sense. I am just me here. Noone knows who I am. No assumptions. No expectations. I don’t owe anyone anything and nor do they owe me. That’s how I am discovering who I really am deep down. In a city where I can be ANYONE I want to be, who am I?

The Advice

It really is true that you need to be someone that makes you happy. Your relationships and experiences outside of this can then enhance your enjoyment of life, but they should not serve the purpose to be solely responsible for your happiness. I mean, we hear it every time we go through a break-up, don’t we. “You need to learn to be by yourself for a while” or something along those lines. I never really fully appreciated what was behind this statement until now.. if I’m capable of being happy by myself, I’m capable of being happy anywhere! It’s not to say don’t date new people or don’t make new friends, just be mindful of what you’re expecting from these things. Don’t just try to fill the gap with noise and fluff. Sometimes you need the silence. That is where your true inner self resides.

Learning to be happy alone also means I can bring my own happiness into my future relationships and friendships. What a relief for the next poor bloke to date me haha.. and the new friends I will make here in Madrid.. because we all know it is exhausting trying to make someone who is unhappy happy. And it shouldn’t be anyone else’s job but your own.

Just thought I’d give you an update and if this helps anyone else who is going through anything similar then that’s a bonus.

I’ll be back with all things life, love, food, travel and Madrid ASAP. My university classes here are pretty intense AND in Spanish, so it’s taking all my mental energy there (when I’m not drinking in the sun somewhere too decompress). <3

 

 

Kellie xx

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30 thoughts on “Overreact and Underestimate”

  1. i personally think the highest level of being content is when you feel content even you’re on your own. so, i’m glad that you’ve enjoyed your “alone” time so far! 🙂

    1. If you’re ever in town, let me know! haha. And I agree. It is so important but not very easy for some sometimes. xx

  2. I always wanted toove to another country and make a go of it. I know that it’s not possible right now, but I still plan on doing it and I think you’re being very realistic expectations in your approach. It’s refreshing! Good luck!

    1. Thanks so much Kate! I hope you get to do something similar if that’s what you want to do too. It really is life-changing, for the better!

  3. Yes! There is something profound in spending time with yourself and takin in the environment. Kudos to you and may the adventure continue!

  4. Learning to be content on your own, learning to be happy with one’s self, is so essential, but it’s probably easier said than done. Thanks for this post!

  5. Wow, this is awesome. I don’t think I could ever do this! Props to you for owning it – I know so many people who are dependent on others for true happiness, and you’ve found it on your own, and in a foreign city! Sometimes I actually feel my happiest when I’m alone. Even the simple things like doing laundry or taking a shower…I count those as my “me time”, which I thrive on, guess that’s the introvert in me 😉

  6. So true. I believe you first need to learn to love yourself and to live with yourself before moving on. Take in every moment of it. Thanx for sharing!

  7. Can I simply say what a aid to seek out somebody who actually is aware of what theyre talking about on the internet. You definitely know learn how to convey a difficulty to gentle and make it important. More people need to read this and perceive this aspect of the story. I cant consider youre not more popular since you positively have the gift.

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